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Ides Of May
by John Michael Ray

Sitting here listening to
Some angst filled Audioslave lyrics
Wondering if they wrote them just for me
Sitting here listening to
The dead silence of my telephone
Wondering if she knows my line is free
Sitting here listening to
The sparrows laughing outside my window
Wondering if they're laughing cause she's gone
Sitting here listening to
The voices coming from my stucco ceiling
Wondering if they've been talking to me long

Sitting here talking to
All my close friends and family
Wondering about my troubled, tragic youth
Sitting here talking to
Any poor soul who's willing to listen
Wondering about our versions of the truth
Sitting here talking to
A bunch of ex-lovers and other strangers
Wondering why they help me kill the pain
Sitting here talking to
Those same sparrows outside my window
Wondering if they're laughing at me again

Sitting here writing down
All my darkest thoughts and feelings
Wondering if I could ever be that strong
Sitting here writing down
181 things I miss about her
Wondering if she'll read them when I'm gone
Sitting here writing down
My latest, last will and testament
Wondering who'll get saddled with the debt
Sitting here writing down
A well written letter of apology
Wondering how long it'll take them to forget

Sitting here staring down
At this crumpled up good-bye letter
Wondering when the hurt is gonna sink in
Sitting here staring down
At this old picture of you and me
Wondering if I'm gonna be whole again
Sitting here staring down
The neck of this bottle of Jack Daniels
Wondering if it's ever gonna numb
Sitting here staring down
The cold steel barrel of this Smith and Wesson
Wondering when that shot is gonna come


John Michael Ray ©2007 All Rights Reserved